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discussion committed_but_curious · 5 days ago

I'm Curious But in a Relationship — Is Watching Male Cams Cheating?

I've been with my girlfriend for three years. I love her. I'm not looking for anyone else. But for the past few months I've been watching male cam streams and I feel incredibly guilty about it.

It started as curiosity — I stumbled into the male section and found it... interesting. Not in a "I want to leave my partner" way. More like a part of me that I'd never explored before suddenly had a window to look through.

But is it cheating? I haven't interacted with anyone. I don't tip, I don't chat. I literally just watch. But it feels like a secret, and secrets in relationships feel like betrayal.

For those of you in relationships — how do you handle this? Do you tell your partner? Is there a way to explore curiosity without it becoming a relationship issue?

💬 5 Comments

▲ 89 communication_first

Cheating is defined by the boundaries of your specific relationship. Some couples are fine with porn. Some aren't. The only way to know is to talk about it.

▲ 76 told_my_partner

I told my girlfriend. It was terrifying. She was surprised but not upset. Now she watches with me sometimes. You might be surprised by your partner's reaction.

▲ 93 therapist_take

Therapist here (not your therapist, obviously). The guilt is usually about the secrecy, not the action. Bringing it into the light — even just to yourself — reduces the guilt significantly.

▲ 62 different_boundaries

My relationship rule: it's not cheating if both people know about it and neither is hurt by it. But that requires honest conversation.

▲ 55 committed_but_curious

These responses are making me realize the secret is the problem, not the cam watching itself. Going to figure out how to bring this up.

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